Fostering - sibling placement stories

L.T cares for two sisters, S (aged 12) and E (aged 14)

Read L.T's story below

L.T's story

"At the start, S was in a foster placement without any of her siblings. One sibling was with me, two were in a different place but together. S found this hard and it felt unfair. She felt different. S doesn’t feel left out or different anymore, she is part of our family. Seeing them together is lovely. 

I thought long and hard about having S come to live with me and E. I spoke to E, I spoke to my family as it would be a big change. I was nervous and it was daunting. We all thought long and hard and agreed we all wanted the best for S. Let me tell you this, I have not regretted that decision ever, not for a single minute. When S came to live with me and E, it really felt like she was coming home. 

At first it took a while for her to feel confident that this would be forever. It was like S wanted to do everything she could to stay with us. She wanted to be just like E and said she was into all of the same things e.g. same music, same films, wanted to do the same things. She was like her shadow. Now, a year later I can tell she knows she is home because she feels more able to be herself, S and E now have very different interests and very different personalities, which for me, I think is great. 

They are like typical sisters now, they do get on each other’s nerves and can bicker, but they also like being around each other. They will watch films together, walk to and from school together. E looks out for S, if S was in trouble or worried at school, E would be there for her. 

What I think about sometimes is how important them being together now is for them in the future. Being together now means that their relationship is building, they are in each other's lives. I think about how this will be so important in the future when they are adults. They will have each other and know what each other has been through. 

I just feel it is so important to keep sisters and brothers together where you can. It means they don’t feel left out or worried about how each other are doing. They don’t have to worry that they did something wrong which means that they can’t be together."

 

 

C&C's family care for two sisters, B (aged 12) and M (ages 21)

Read B and M's story below:

B and M's story

M (21): "We have lived with C&C and their family for 10 years. Now it feels like we have our little family - me and my sister - inside our big family (our foster) family. We are one big family together. 

When we first were told we were going into care, I was worried we would not be together. I did not feel that worry when I met C&C. When we first came here, B was my shadow, she wanted to be everywhere I was. Now she does not feel like she needs to do that, now we are just like normal sister. 

When me and B first came to live with C&C and family, I remember it feeling safe and right. Even though I was only 12, I had pretty much been the main carer for my sister who was 3. My foster family took very good care and I soon learnt I could relax more and did not need to make sure my sister was safe anymore. My foster parents would do that and I would still be there. It was comforting to be with my sister, if I had not been, I would have been so worried about her. I knew she was safe. 

It felt weird at first, new home, new people, new routines. I quickly got used to it and liked it better that way. 

Me and B go out together sometimes, shopping or to get food. We like the same foods. We don’t like the same music. We go to shows together. 

It has been tough at times, I lost my birth dad recently and my foster family have helped me with this. 

I love it here."

B (12): "I love my (foster family) it is a big family with lots of family members. We are part of the family, when we have parties and people around, I feel like a V.I.P. I like that it is a big family, it means it is less awkward and I never ever get bored. 

I love being with my sister but she does annoy me. Her music is too loud and she snores. But I am glad she is here, I like it when my sister comes to school and watches my shows."

C (foster carer): "We always knew when we became foster carers, we wanted to be able to foster siblings. When siblings come into care, if it is possible, they should be placed together. It is hard to be separated from your parents so if you are able to be with a sibling, it eases that. There is some familiarity, they don’t feel like they are going through this on their own. 

We have fostered sibling placements including 1 baby and two girls. This was our first placement. It was an intense first placement but we never regretted the decision to take the placement on. 

Sometimes, if siblings cannot be placed together, it can result in a lot of emotions. They feel anger, loss or resentment. It can cause fractures in the sibling relationship if they are not placed together. 

When siblings are placed together, its like they just become part of the family, together."